I can breathe--almost

Just a quick note to let you all know, for those who already did or didn't know, that I'm well.
My surgery was successfull yesterday. I had friends drive me down and pick me up which made life much easier. The boys were wonderful; they came home and had dinner and promptly went to bed. They were even kind enough to sleep in till 6:20 this morning so I got them ready and dropped them off at school which is where they will remain until 6pm and hopefully they will be as obliging as last night.
My nose, cheeks, and teeth hurt quite a bit but my sinuses are CLEAN! No I didn't have a nose job! I had a FESS--Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery. My little deviated septum feels to be the same, so no septoplasty. I have a very stylish gause nose-drainage-catcher-thingy that I have to wear all the time and some percoset to ease the pain. I spent the night in the recliner which is where I intend to spend most of the next few days.
DH has been calling to check on me as much as possible from Stumps. He'll be home tomorrow to hopefully take care of me--I mean the kids--oh hell, I really do mean me!
Feel free to call as I am housebound for a while and rapidly getting over the Today show!

Somebody break a match

Bad things do happen in three or fours.
In the space of two days the following managed to happen to me:
Wed:
I found out that I do in fact have to have surgery on my sinuses. This was after waiting 40 minutes in the lobby past my appt time. This is after a CT scan that was done here on base that showed chronic sinusitis. And after another three week course of antibiotics and a CT done at Balboa. I could have told them this before either of the scans were done! This comes with a mixed amount of emotions. Hopefully, it will reduce the recovery time and reduce the frequency with which I get sinus infections. But it does mean general anesthesia which comes with it's dangers. Now that I'm the mommy of two, this can't be taken as lightly as it once was. I'm not exactly excited about the prospect of the pain. Oh yeah, and since DH is getting out of the military in about three weeks, it has to be done ASAP. It has to be done the one week that DH has to be out of town. I'm relying on the kindness of friends to get me to the hospital and home. Since I won't know exactly what time I'm scheduled until the afternoon before, I still can't make exact plans for the boys. That is truly the most frustrating part. Luckily, the boys can be dropped off at school at 7am each morning and picked up at 6pm. It's a long day for them but it means that for the three days that I have to wait for DH to get home, I can do minimal parenting and just recover.
That afternoon, just as I was turning into the parking lot to the kids' gym, I had a tire blowout. It sounded like I drove over something but I never saw anything in front or then behind me. I pulled into a parking spot and got out to see the damage. I was expecting something around my bumper but instead all I hear is a loud whistling--it was my tire! DH had to come to the rescue. You can tell he's been in the military a long time b/c the "appropriate civilian attire" thing has been ingrained in him---only he would come to change a tire in khaki shorts and a polo shirt!!! G-bless! He's mine, all mine!
Anyway, it definitely couldn't be patched so I had to go to two different places to find the right size and get a new one.
Thurs:
After my MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting, I swung by the house to grab my pre-surgery paperwork. I filled that out and headed to the hospital in San Diego. I knew I was low on gas but I planned to fill up at MCRD (Marine Corps Recruit Depot) b/c their gas is at least $.30/gallon cheaper. I'm about two exits away when I realize--holy F! I left my wallet in the house. First of all, I know it's horrible but my wallet usually lives in the car. So it's very rare that it's in the house. I don't even know why I brought it in the house. But this meant I had no debit card, no credit card, no driver's license, and no military ID. I also had about 11 miles till empty according to my car. I turned around and called DH to come to the rescue again. Needless to say, he was not as thrilled about this rescue. I didn't know where to pull off as I had to be sure I picked the right exit with a gas station or else I would be wasting precious gas. I finally found somewhere and told him where to meet me. I had to call the hospital and reschedule my appt for an hour later. DH came with the wallet and no words. I put $15 in hoping that would get me to the hospital and then to MCRD. My car still said 3 miles to empty even after 3 gallons. So I had to pull off at the next exit to put another $20 and 4 gallons in. This somehow then got me to 145 miles till empty. Fast forward to the way home--I put in another $40 at MCRD and this didn't even get me to full. $75 later and not full! Rewind--I made it to the hospital and into the examination room. The doctor who will be assisting said that I am such a candidate. On the CT, my sinuses are supposed to be black--this shows air moving through them. Instead mine are all grey with only a tiny bit of black which means that they're blocked. I also do have a deviated septum which means that I may have to have a septoplasty if they can't get in to clean out my sinuses. And he thought he saw some other stuff but they won't know until they get in there.
As is always my policy since I have some crazy medical experiences, and seem to always go to teaching hospitals, if anyone wants to observe they can. If my wacky medical melodramas helps someone to be a better doctor, then they can have at it. I wonder if my OB did ever write a journal article about the toddler's delivery...
Oh and to top it all off---the now former employers called on Thursday to tell me that they didn't understand my timesheets and that I might not get paid on Friday. How hard is it to open a folder on the thumb drive and see that there are five different documents in there. Each titled week of ...and then the date. How confusing is that? How does that seem like it's all one? I know there is a language divide but that has nothing to do with computer literacy. And if it was confusing, why wait until the day before payroll to mention it? I called my math counterpart to nosy around and find out if his payroll was delayed too. He had no idea when he was going to get paid or reimbursed. That doesn't work for me. I called the bosses back and told them they had to pay me and that would be the end of our relationship. The director had the audacity to tell me that I argue to much. I couldn't give a sh*t if she thinks I argue too much, at this point I don't work for them so they can ---fill in expletive of choice. I can argue now if I want to. All I know is that they owe me money and I want it. They won't last long in America if they pay people late! That just doesn't fly--people (like me) have bills to pay. Good riddance--I got out while the going is still good.
Screw a match--where's the matchbook?

Can't hang like I once did

I remember a time, in what feels like a distant and far off universe, when I could go out several nights a week, be an athlete, a student, and a full time employee and still function like all of those independent but intricately interwoven personae. NOT. ANY. MORE!!!
I remember being able to go out on a Friday night and still get up at 0500 for a regatta, row several races ("Big like moose, strong like ox. We drink acid, we eat rocks, MHC oarswomen and cox"), go out that night and still get up on Sunday to go to work-study and do homework. Or go out Saturday night and still get up and walk to church on Sunday morning.
OY!!! NOT. ANY. MORE!!!
Please let it be known that even in my heyday I was never a big drinker just a night owl, and therein lies what must have been my salvation. Why did I not remember that this past weekend? Oh that's right, b/c it felt like I'd just been paroled.
So let me back up and explain.
Saturday night was a friend's going away party. She and her family are making yet another pit stop in the world of military moves in northern VA (yes, I am green at the gills with jealousy as she will be only a stones throw from home--DC). There were about ten of us parolees (aka Mommies) out that night. And for the first time in I don't even know how long, I was not a DD or having to drive myself. Perhaps that was my first mistake.
Anyway, fast forward a few hours and my decision to drink most of my dinner and you get to one rather inebriated person. I remember the whole night and I remember having a very good time with the girls. I also remember the next day...which I wish I couldn't.
After three extremely STRONG mixed drinks and maybe four or five bottles of beer (okay, so maybe a few recollections are blurry but that's more b/c I chose not to keep count), I was just trying to make it through the drive home. Which actually now seems to have gone very fast despite a roadside stop.
I also remember getting to my front door which is always unlocked b/c I'm the only who locks it and finding it GASP--LOCKED. I know I did not lock it since I did not have my keys with me. Darn preschooler! Gooey! The next sequence of events is completely inexplicable to me. No rhyme nor reason.
For some crazy moment I thought I was back in my OCS days and could hop a wall to get onto my patio and let myself in through the sliding glass door. However, there were a few incongruent details to this scheme. First of all, even at OCS, women get a box to stand on. I had no box--just 4" heels. Upper body strength has never been a great asset of mine--so there I was in 4" heels and little black shorts trying to shimmy over this wall. But first, I had to somehow ditch my wristlet and hurricane glass souvenir--both of which I unceremoniously just tossed over the wall. Yeah hi, even drunk, glass breaks if you toss it. Hindsight--20/20.
Needless to say my little force recon move failed and I had to saunter around to the back of the house. I got in, got upstairs, remembered to put the trashbin by the bed just in case and promptly fell asleep--I did manage to take off my shoes, get undressed, take out my contacts and brush my teeth--never an excuse for poor hygiene. But I have absolutely no idea what time it was and thus no idea how much sleep I got before the boys were up at 7 am (actually, that's sleeping in so thank heavens for small mercies.)
I got the boys breakfast and the DH came down to take over. Because, in the words of Porky the Pig, th-th-thaaattt's all folks.
I went back to bed. Woke up to put the toddler down for a morning nap. Woke up to help with lunch and get the boys down for their afternoon nap and then went back to sleep. I LOST most of the day!
The most amazing part of this is the empathy demonstrated by my DH. It amazes me that I could be on my deathbed with illness and not get that much unspoken cooperation and help. But a nasty hangover suddenly evokes Suzy Homemaker. WTF? Either way, I'll take it!
Now that I'm back in the land of the living, I realized a few things:
1) I really never was cut out to be a drinker. I still think it's a waste of good money to either puke or piss away all that hard earned currency. I had a good time, the drinks were great the first time around but this is really an isolated activity rather than a habit.
2) There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. A glass or two of wine amongst friends is great but heavy consumption of libations means you have foggy memories of your friends. Not worth the tradeoff.
3) I am not GI Jane despite my residency on a military installation. It is not morning PT. Heels do not equate to a box. And I need to look into fitness!
4) I have never been sympathetic to people who complain of hangovers and I don't plan to start being so. I knew better and I chose to ignore the little angelic MC on my shoulder and suddenly thought my initials stood for Mariah Carey and that I can roll like that. Well I can't!
5) And irony of ironies--I was supposed to work the nursery at my church yesterday but had to dis-gracefully bow out (no, I did not tell the truth that I was too hungover, are you kidding me? I claimed tummy troubles--which wasn't a complete fib on a Sunday ). Too drunk to go to church! Well off to think about my penance for that! Next Sunday's confession should be interesting!

Cultural Confusion

I began a new job as a Language Arts curriculum designer for a small private tutoring school about a month ago. I have thrown myself into the job to the neglect of housework and homework to try and impress my new bosses.
It's a very interesting situation in which I find myself--the President and CEO are a husband and wife team who are Korean. The President/CEO (the husband) speaks and understands very limited English but apparently reads it fairly well. The CEO (the wife) understands a fair amount of English but is not proficient. The director is also Korean but has lived in the US for many years. And is coincidentally married to one of the chaplains who belongs to DH's BFF's battalion (wasn't that a lot of possessive nouns). My counterpart for Math is Korean-American, born here and raised here but spent two years teaching in Korea.
It's amazing how despite my various accomplishments thus far and a few accolades at that, it wasn't until three Asians told me that I was smart that I actually felt smart! I know--I'm a cultural stereotyping fanatic--but as an immigrant I feel I have a right to use that status however I feel fit!
Anyway, it is definitely a challenge being the only nonKorean speaking member of the team. Not only that, there are definite cultural barriers presenting themselves.
I originally interviewed just for a teaching position but based on my education they felt I could be used even sooner as the curriculum developer. Mind you, this is new territory for me. My Masters is in Teaching (or soon will be) not curriculum development.
But I have ingenuity and several human references at my disposal so I just got on with it.
The last month has been arduous to say the least. There has been a lot of wishy-washiness on my boss' part and they have not clearly defined to me or my counterpart what they want in the way of the curriculum--how loose or how specific. Furthermore, they have not been very clear about how many teachers they are hiring. As of right now, they can fit about 30 students in the center at a time, which is a tight fit so I'm not really sure why they are holding so many interviews and looking at so many teachers. I realize they want a 3rd-12th grade program but that doesn't leave too much time in the day to cater math and English to all those levels.
Anyway, they also are under the impression that they can hire teachers less than three weeks before the program is to start and give them a loose curriculum and have them design their lesson plans with little to no paid prep time. I've tried to explain to them that in America, teachers who work in the summer want to supplement their income not do more work that they would be doing during the school year (9 weeks of lesson plans with no paid prep in about a week). I explained that they will either have poor quality lessons or teachers who do not stay long. They, unfortunately, are still working on the Asian work mentality that teachers will want to work that hard for them and will be willing to put in the extra effort. HA! The hiring freeze is over and most districts have rescinded their pink slips, not that many teachers are unemployed afterall.
What's more, they have it in their minds that they are hiring teachers who can teach several grades. Which teachers can--a multi subject license means you can teach elementary and a single subject means you can basically teach 5-12 in that domain. However, if you've been teaching 3rd grade for a few years, you probably won't have any 4th or 5th grade lessons prepared or resources for those grades. They think they're hiring such highly qualified teachers, which they may, but that still doesn't change the fact that they may not be fully prepared to teach all these grades. Plus many of the teachers' resources may be owned by the school district that they teach for and are not their personal resources to transfer to an independent school. That's falling on deaf ears!
Furthermore, the CEO/President apparently has more than 15 years experience in Korea but hasn't demonstrated a minute's knowledge of teaching. Nevermind the fact that I'm ABT (all but thesis for my Masters), apparently I haven't learned anything thus far. If he has so much damn experience then why the hell am I reinventing the wheel?! Telling me to go off and design 10 grades worth of curriculum in three weeks is nuts! Especially with no specific guidance. They keep referring to how things are done in Korea but have produced no framework from which to work. And quite frankly, that's nice but we're in America now! This school may cater to Asian students but if it wants them to succeed in American schools, they have to assimilate a bit more. And apparently the CEO/President's sister runs a school like this in Irvine, so why not let me and my counterpart see their curriculum so we know what the goal is?! Apparently, the wheel is supposed to be oblong not circular anymore!
One of the biggest areas of contention is how to run the book club which is basically turning into a reading comprehension class rather than a real book club. But apparently, in Korea, they get books from the US that are book club editions with the questions preprinted in them. Fantastic! It's not like I've never seen those before. But I'd already come up with the book club reading list for each grade and they wanted me to find out if the list came in those editions. That's over 55 books to google! Ah, N.O. How about they give me the list of books sent to Korea? Or at least let me know which publisher it is! But hey if they want to pay me those hours to google it, fine. But wait, they don't!
They promised me 20+ for this phase and now that I'm consistently billing them over 20 they don't like it. They have no concept of how much work my counterpart and I have! Instead of hiring an assistant they are paying us to do copying and binder stuffing but get annoyed when we bill that. I'm sorry but if I were in an office rather than my house, I wouldn't clock out then stuff binders then clock back in. That crap is work and I'm working to get paid.
What's more, it's a 30 minute commute each way and I go in three days a week. Most of the time the meetings have been at least an hour or more. But lately, several have been only 15 minutes! That doesn't even cover my gas!
Things are coming to a head and not progressing very well. I may have inadvertently worked myself out of a job. While they keep complimenting my work and seem very impressed by its quality, I think they want someone a little more compliant and someone who won't bill them as much (they better drop the work load or find someone who isn't American--I know, I know...). We'll see tomorrow if I still have a job...
Please let me keep this just long enough to find another one! It's always easier to find a job when you already have one. So please let me keep this one just a little bit longer!
If nothing else, this just added to my teacher work sample and shows that I am a jack of all trades...
Cross you finger, your eyes, your toes, and whatever else. Say a prayer, do a rain dance, chant a little ditty...Just wish me luck tomorrow!

Alanis Morissette Had No Idea What Irony Is

You want to know what irony is?
Irony is having your pre-inspection for your move out done (a day earlier than scheduled at that) and finding out that after a ridiculous amount of tiffs with the DH about the pets and their messes it won't be them that costs you anything! It'll be your almost three year old.
That's right!
They took a black light to our carpets and I was sure that there was going to be stuff showing up all over the living room thanks to our former resident dog and cat. Nope, nada, nothing!
We get upstairs to the boys' room and ew! All of the potty training debacles showed right up!
So Belle and Dave cost us nothing, one almost three year old is costing us $125!!! So said three year old needs a J-O-B ASAP!
All I had to say to DH after relaying this story was, "so can I have my dog back?"