Changing up comment method

FYI: I'm allowing anyone to comment on the blog now but I'll have to review them before they post. I did this because now that my parents are in France, my mom is having a hard time posting comments.
Let's see if this works!

A different kid of keeping up with the Joneses

This week was meant to be an incredibly productive week for me. So far it has been quite productive but hardly incredibly. Given that I'm at the mercy of other people's time table for some things, it has left me with time during the day to just wait and waste.
And this has left me with some guilt about the boys. After my student teaching ended, I took a week off. My first week off in YEARS. Then I had the unfortunate job and now I'm working on my thesis. As long as I'm working either outside of the home or on my thesis, I don't feel badly about the boys being at preschool/daycare. But on days like today when I took two naps (b/c clearly I needed them--insert sarcasm here) I feel guilty that since I have the time to parent, I should be. Because I tow the line of being both a stay at home mom and a working mom, I feel like I fail my sisters in both categories. I feel like a bit of a sell out to both groups.
Then I think about some of the other mommies I know who have children the same age as mine. Many of their preschool age children are also in preschool and I feel a little less guilty. But then I remind myself that many of them have had to deal with their husbands being deployed for years and I haven't. Once again I am back to thinking that I haven't earned this time to myself.
I also think about those moms who have more than one kid and have put their older into preschool. I managed nine months of having two at home (without killing, maiming, or even hurting anyone) and I think that if it's okay for them then it should be okay for me to do the same. But there is still that tinge of guilt that I should be parenting my own children rather than letting other people do it if not absolutely necessary. I try to compensate and make myself feel better by my wearing my badge of courage that I've never had a day away from my kids--I do not count inconsolable pain from having my torso ripped open and a child sent to a separate hospital aka the toddler's delivery--as a time off.
I do fully believe that a lot of the skills both of my children have are a result of being around other children who are older and more advanced. That I wouldn't have been able to offer them single-handedly. My preschool might still have a serious (rather than mild) speech delay if he weren't in school. The toddler certainly wouldn't be the chatterbox he is now.
One way or another, I seem to be able to justify why I should have it the other way. I don't know why I even feel the need to justify--what works for my little family should be my own privilege not my issue but maybe it's the California lifestyle or a lack of self-security but I feel the need to keep up with the Joneses.

The mind of a child

As the preschooler and I sit watching one of his very favorite shows, I am reminded of a couple of thoughts I had as a child. The cartoon just showed the two main characters in a hot air balloon drifting through space and they go through a cloud.
As a child, I was a very frequent flyer. I often had enough miles to earn my own free tickets. At about age 5 or 6, I clearly remember wondering two things--if heaven is in the sky and we were flying in the sky, why couldn't I see dead people--or at least angels (no Sixth Sense stuff here). My poor mom had to explain that one to me. I remember something along the lines of heaven being higher and a belief in people's heart. However she explained it, it did placate me.
My other thought was, if clouds break apart and make rain, would it rain where ever we were flying? In my mind it stood to reason that the plane would disturb and break up the clouds so that should make it rain. Again my mom had to explain that one- something along the lines of the clouds just moved over to make room for us.
These memories make me wonder what ingenious and incorrigible questions my children will come up with to entertain me and more importantly stump me! I can already tell there will be some doosies.

If I don't toot my own horn, who will?!

I know it's totally gauche of me to be so self-congratulatory...but who cares!!!
Today has been a total red letter day!
My advisor and I had a teleconference and it looks like my Capstone committee is ready to be formed! I'm officially in the final stages of my Masters!!! She's looked at the rough draft of my prospectus and says it looks good. So I'll offically submit it by the end of the week! She's given me the go ahead to move on with the next phase of my research!
Also, based on my literature review (research of primary and secondary sources on the subject) I may be doing "ground breaking" work. If that's the case, I hope to get published which will be quite the feather in my cap when I start applying for doctoral programs in Dec! Cross your fingers for me that all my research, writing, and oral defense are done by Nov. As a full time stay at home mom, I will have completed my degree in two years if I finish by Nov 1!!!
And to boot, I just received my teaching license in the mail!!! Finally, thanks to all the hoops in the state of CA, it is official! I am a fully licensed Social Studies teacher!
So YEAH FOR ME!!!!!

One person's recalcitrance...

One of my gal pal's described her 3 year old as recalcitrant, which incidently is a word I haven't heard in ages but is absolutely terrific, and I can only say that one person's recalcitrance is another's obstinance. Everyone always talks about the terrible twos and my mother has mentioned the trusting threes but really I think it's the trying threes.
The preschooler's vocabulary has come such a long way and I can actually hold a conversation with him. However, it also means now he won't SHUT. UP. Don't get me wrong there are times when it's adorable and so funny but when it is the umpteenth time about the tracks and trains or what happened to the cars when we're at a stop light, I want to beat my heads against the windshield! But the obstinance is unreal! Yesterday, the preschooler and the DH and I all had a battle of wills.
The preschooler went into the den and touched the laptop which he knows he's not allowed to.
DH told him not to and of course he did it again. He then refused to apologize or give Daddy a hug. I backed up my DH and took the preschooler to the living room where I told him he could apologize or give up his toys and TV. Needless to say, he sat on the sofa with me for the better part of 20 mins. I kept explaining to him why what he had done wrong and that sweet little well behaved boys listen the first time they're told something and apologize when naughty. I could get him to say sorry to me and to say he loved me and the toddler. But every time I asked him if he wanted to apologize to Daddy and give him a hug, he said no! I told him the longer he refused, the longer he would go without toys and TV. After 20 mins, I got him apologizing to Daddy but out of earshot. It took a lot of prompting but finally he apologized and hugged my DH. Dear lord! This stubbornness now....oh eff! I'm really in for it. And I could have sworn that the toddler was the stubborn one. Apparently, it's both.
But what should I have expected. Anyone who knows me, or my DH for that matter, knows that stubbornness existed in this house long before either kid came along. He and I both have a stubborn streak. My mother has been described as stubborn as a mule and my dad as stubborn as a camel. They got together and got me---some crazy cousin to a dronkey (a camule or mulmel).
The tween and teen years are going to be oh so fun! Thank heavens for sports--they can go run themselves ragged, come home to do homework, and go to bed for 5 years!

Best quote I've heard in a while

My bestest gal pal said this one on the phone last night and I loved it!!!

"Who am I to judge? We all have issues, no one's lucky enough not to."

That sums it up!

I can breathe--almost

Just a quick note to let you all know, for those who already did or didn't know, that I'm well.
My surgery was successfull yesterday. I had friends drive me down and pick me up which made life much easier. The boys were wonderful; they came home and had dinner and promptly went to bed. They were even kind enough to sleep in till 6:20 this morning so I got them ready and dropped them off at school which is where they will remain until 6pm and hopefully they will be as obliging as last night.
My nose, cheeks, and teeth hurt quite a bit but my sinuses are CLEAN! No I didn't have a nose job! I had a FESS--Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery. My little deviated septum feels to be the same, so no septoplasty. I have a very stylish gause nose-drainage-catcher-thingy that I have to wear all the time and some percoset to ease the pain. I spent the night in the recliner which is where I intend to spend most of the next few days.
DH has been calling to check on me as much as possible from Stumps. He'll be home tomorrow to hopefully take care of me--I mean the kids--oh hell, I really do mean me!
Feel free to call as I am housebound for a while and rapidly getting over the Today show!

Somebody break a match

Bad things do happen in three or fours.
In the space of two days the following managed to happen to me:
Wed:
I found out that I do in fact have to have surgery on my sinuses. This was after waiting 40 minutes in the lobby past my appt time. This is after a CT scan that was done here on base that showed chronic sinusitis. And after another three week course of antibiotics and a CT done at Balboa. I could have told them this before either of the scans were done! This comes with a mixed amount of emotions. Hopefully, it will reduce the recovery time and reduce the frequency with which I get sinus infections. But it does mean general anesthesia which comes with it's dangers. Now that I'm the mommy of two, this can't be taken as lightly as it once was. I'm not exactly excited about the prospect of the pain. Oh yeah, and since DH is getting out of the military in about three weeks, it has to be done ASAP. It has to be done the one week that DH has to be out of town. I'm relying on the kindness of friends to get me to the hospital and home. Since I won't know exactly what time I'm scheduled until the afternoon before, I still can't make exact plans for the boys. That is truly the most frustrating part. Luckily, the boys can be dropped off at school at 7am each morning and picked up at 6pm. It's a long day for them but it means that for the three days that I have to wait for DH to get home, I can do minimal parenting and just recover.
That afternoon, just as I was turning into the parking lot to the kids' gym, I had a tire blowout. It sounded like I drove over something but I never saw anything in front or then behind me. I pulled into a parking spot and got out to see the damage. I was expecting something around my bumper but instead all I hear is a loud whistling--it was my tire! DH had to come to the rescue. You can tell he's been in the military a long time b/c the "appropriate civilian attire" thing has been ingrained in him---only he would come to change a tire in khaki shorts and a polo shirt!!! G-bless! He's mine, all mine!
Anyway, it definitely couldn't be patched so I had to go to two different places to find the right size and get a new one.
Thurs:
After my MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting, I swung by the house to grab my pre-surgery paperwork. I filled that out and headed to the hospital in San Diego. I knew I was low on gas but I planned to fill up at MCRD (Marine Corps Recruit Depot) b/c their gas is at least $.30/gallon cheaper. I'm about two exits away when I realize--holy F! I left my wallet in the house. First of all, I know it's horrible but my wallet usually lives in the car. So it's very rare that it's in the house. I don't even know why I brought it in the house. But this meant I had no debit card, no credit card, no driver's license, and no military ID. I also had about 11 miles till empty according to my car. I turned around and called DH to come to the rescue again. Needless to say, he was not as thrilled about this rescue. I didn't know where to pull off as I had to be sure I picked the right exit with a gas station or else I would be wasting precious gas. I finally found somewhere and told him where to meet me. I had to call the hospital and reschedule my appt for an hour later. DH came with the wallet and no words. I put $15 in hoping that would get me to the hospital and then to MCRD. My car still said 3 miles to empty even after 3 gallons. So I had to pull off at the next exit to put another $20 and 4 gallons in. This somehow then got me to 145 miles till empty. Fast forward to the way home--I put in another $40 at MCRD and this didn't even get me to full. $75 later and not full! Rewind--I made it to the hospital and into the examination room. The doctor who will be assisting said that I am such a candidate. On the CT, my sinuses are supposed to be black--this shows air moving through them. Instead mine are all grey with only a tiny bit of black which means that they're blocked. I also do have a deviated septum which means that I may have to have a septoplasty if they can't get in to clean out my sinuses. And he thought he saw some other stuff but they won't know until they get in there.
As is always my policy since I have some crazy medical experiences, and seem to always go to teaching hospitals, if anyone wants to observe they can. If my wacky medical melodramas helps someone to be a better doctor, then they can have at it. I wonder if my OB did ever write a journal article about the toddler's delivery...
Oh and to top it all off---the now former employers called on Thursday to tell me that they didn't understand my timesheets and that I might not get paid on Friday. How hard is it to open a folder on the thumb drive and see that there are five different documents in there. Each titled week of ...and then the date. How confusing is that? How does that seem like it's all one? I know there is a language divide but that has nothing to do with computer literacy. And if it was confusing, why wait until the day before payroll to mention it? I called my math counterpart to nosy around and find out if his payroll was delayed too. He had no idea when he was going to get paid or reimbursed. That doesn't work for me. I called the bosses back and told them they had to pay me and that would be the end of our relationship. The director had the audacity to tell me that I argue to much. I couldn't give a sh*t if she thinks I argue too much, at this point I don't work for them so they can ---fill in expletive of choice. I can argue now if I want to. All I know is that they owe me money and I want it. They won't last long in America if they pay people late! That just doesn't fly--people (like me) have bills to pay. Good riddance--I got out while the going is still good.
Screw a match--where's the matchbook?

Can't hang like I once did

I remember a time, in what feels like a distant and far off universe, when I could go out several nights a week, be an athlete, a student, and a full time employee and still function like all of those independent but intricately interwoven personae. NOT. ANY. MORE!!!
I remember being able to go out on a Friday night and still get up at 0500 for a regatta, row several races ("Big like moose, strong like ox. We drink acid, we eat rocks, MHC oarswomen and cox"), go out that night and still get up on Sunday to go to work-study and do homework. Or go out Saturday night and still get up and walk to church on Sunday morning.
OY!!! NOT. ANY. MORE!!!
Please let it be known that even in my heyday I was never a big drinker just a night owl, and therein lies what must have been my salvation. Why did I not remember that this past weekend? Oh that's right, b/c it felt like I'd just been paroled.
So let me back up and explain.
Saturday night was a friend's going away party. She and her family are making yet another pit stop in the world of military moves in northern VA (yes, I am green at the gills with jealousy as she will be only a stones throw from home--DC). There were about ten of us parolees (aka Mommies) out that night. And for the first time in I don't even know how long, I was not a DD or having to drive myself. Perhaps that was my first mistake.
Anyway, fast forward a few hours and my decision to drink most of my dinner and you get to one rather inebriated person. I remember the whole night and I remember having a very good time with the girls. I also remember the next day...which I wish I couldn't.
After three extremely STRONG mixed drinks and maybe four or five bottles of beer (okay, so maybe a few recollections are blurry but that's more b/c I chose not to keep count), I was just trying to make it through the drive home. Which actually now seems to have gone very fast despite a roadside stop.
I also remember getting to my front door which is always unlocked b/c I'm the only who locks it and finding it GASP--LOCKED. I know I did not lock it since I did not have my keys with me. Darn preschooler! Gooey! The next sequence of events is completely inexplicable to me. No rhyme nor reason.
For some crazy moment I thought I was back in my OCS days and could hop a wall to get onto my patio and let myself in through the sliding glass door. However, there were a few incongruent details to this scheme. First of all, even at OCS, women get a box to stand on. I had no box--just 4" heels. Upper body strength has never been a great asset of mine--so there I was in 4" heels and little black shorts trying to shimmy over this wall. But first, I had to somehow ditch my wristlet and hurricane glass souvenir--both of which I unceremoniously just tossed over the wall. Yeah hi, even drunk, glass breaks if you toss it. Hindsight--20/20.
Needless to say my little force recon move failed and I had to saunter around to the back of the house. I got in, got upstairs, remembered to put the trashbin by the bed just in case and promptly fell asleep--I did manage to take off my shoes, get undressed, take out my contacts and brush my teeth--never an excuse for poor hygiene. But I have absolutely no idea what time it was and thus no idea how much sleep I got before the boys were up at 7 am (actually, that's sleeping in so thank heavens for small mercies.)
I got the boys breakfast and the DH came down to take over. Because, in the words of Porky the Pig, th-th-thaaattt's all folks.
I went back to bed. Woke up to put the toddler down for a morning nap. Woke up to help with lunch and get the boys down for their afternoon nap and then went back to sleep. I LOST most of the day!
The most amazing part of this is the empathy demonstrated by my DH. It amazes me that I could be on my deathbed with illness and not get that much unspoken cooperation and help. But a nasty hangover suddenly evokes Suzy Homemaker. WTF? Either way, I'll take it!
Now that I'm back in the land of the living, I realized a few things:
1) I really never was cut out to be a drinker. I still think it's a waste of good money to either puke or piss away all that hard earned currency. I had a good time, the drinks were great the first time around but this is really an isolated activity rather than a habit.
2) There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. A glass or two of wine amongst friends is great but heavy consumption of libations means you have foggy memories of your friends. Not worth the tradeoff.
3) I am not GI Jane despite my residency on a military installation. It is not morning PT. Heels do not equate to a box. And I need to look into fitness!
4) I have never been sympathetic to people who complain of hangovers and I don't plan to start being so. I knew better and I chose to ignore the little angelic MC on my shoulder and suddenly thought my initials stood for Mariah Carey and that I can roll like that. Well I can't!
5) And irony of ironies--I was supposed to work the nursery at my church yesterday but had to dis-gracefully bow out (no, I did not tell the truth that I was too hungover, are you kidding me? I claimed tummy troubles--which wasn't a complete fib on a Sunday ). Too drunk to go to church! Well off to think about my penance for that! Next Sunday's confession should be interesting!

Cultural Confusion

I began a new job as a Language Arts curriculum designer for a small private tutoring school about a month ago. I have thrown myself into the job to the neglect of housework and homework to try and impress my new bosses.
It's a very interesting situation in which I find myself--the President and CEO are a husband and wife team who are Korean. The President/CEO (the husband) speaks and understands very limited English but apparently reads it fairly well. The CEO (the wife) understands a fair amount of English but is not proficient. The director is also Korean but has lived in the US for many years. And is coincidentally married to one of the chaplains who belongs to DH's BFF's battalion (wasn't that a lot of possessive nouns). My counterpart for Math is Korean-American, born here and raised here but spent two years teaching in Korea.
It's amazing how despite my various accomplishments thus far and a few accolades at that, it wasn't until three Asians told me that I was smart that I actually felt smart! I know--I'm a cultural stereotyping fanatic--but as an immigrant I feel I have a right to use that status however I feel fit!
Anyway, it is definitely a challenge being the only nonKorean speaking member of the team. Not only that, there are definite cultural barriers presenting themselves.
I originally interviewed just for a teaching position but based on my education they felt I could be used even sooner as the curriculum developer. Mind you, this is new territory for me. My Masters is in Teaching (or soon will be) not curriculum development.
But I have ingenuity and several human references at my disposal so I just got on with it.
The last month has been arduous to say the least. There has been a lot of wishy-washiness on my boss' part and they have not clearly defined to me or my counterpart what they want in the way of the curriculum--how loose or how specific. Furthermore, they have not been very clear about how many teachers they are hiring. As of right now, they can fit about 30 students in the center at a time, which is a tight fit so I'm not really sure why they are holding so many interviews and looking at so many teachers. I realize they want a 3rd-12th grade program but that doesn't leave too much time in the day to cater math and English to all those levels.
Anyway, they also are under the impression that they can hire teachers less than three weeks before the program is to start and give them a loose curriculum and have them design their lesson plans with little to no paid prep time. I've tried to explain to them that in America, teachers who work in the summer want to supplement their income not do more work that they would be doing during the school year (9 weeks of lesson plans with no paid prep in about a week). I explained that they will either have poor quality lessons or teachers who do not stay long. They, unfortunately, are still working on the Asian work mentality that teachers will want to work that hard for them and will be willing to put in the extra effort. HA! The hiring freeze is over and most districts have rescinded their pink slips, not that many teachers are unemployed afterall.
What's more, they have it in their minds that they are hiring teachers who can teach several grades. Which teachers can--a multi subject license means you can teach elementary and a single subject means you can basically teach 5-12 in that domain. However, if you've been teaching 3rd grade for a few years, you probably won't have any 4th or 5th grade lessons prepared or resources for those grades. They think they're hiring such highly qualified teachers, which they may, but that still doesn't change the fact that they may not be fully prepared to teach all these grades. Plus many of the teachers' resources may be owned by the school district that they teach for and are not their personal resources to transfer to an independent school. That's falling on deaf ears!
Furthermore, the CEO/President apparently has more than 15 years experience in Korea but hasn't demonstrated a minute's knowledge of teaching. Nevermind the fact that I'm ABT (all but thesis for my Masters), apparently I haven't learned anything thus far. If he has so much damn experience then why the hell am I reinventing the wheel?! Telling me to go off and design 10 grades worth of curriculum in three weeks is nuts! Especially with no specific guidance. They keep referring to how things are done in Korea but have produced no framework from which to work. And quite frankly, that's nice but we're in America now! This school may cater to Asian students but if it wants them to succeed in American schools, they have to assimilate a bit more. And apparently the CEO/President's sister runs a school like this in Irvine, so why not let me and my counterpart see their curriculum so we know what the goal is?! Apparently, the wheel is supposed to be oblong not circular anymore!
One of the biggest areas of contention is how to run the book club which is basically turning into a reading comprehension class rather than a real book club. But apparently, in Korea, they get books from the US that are book club editions with the questions preprinted in them. Fantastic! It's not like I've never seen those before. But I'd already come up with the book club reading list for each grade and they wanted me to find out if the list came in those editions. That's over 55 books to google! Ah, N.O. How about they give me the list of books sent to Korea? Or at least let me know which publisher it is! But hey if they want to pay me those hours to google it, fine. But wait, they don't!
They promised me 20+ for this phase and now that I'm consistently billing them over 20 they don't like it. They have no concept of how much work my counterpart and I have! Instead of hiring an assistant they are paying us to do copying and binder stuffing but get annoyed when we bill that. I'm sorry but if I were in an office rather than my house, I wouldn't clock out then stuff binders then clock back in. That crap is work and I'm working to get paid.
What's more, it's a 30 minute commute each way and I go in three days a week. Most of the time the meetings have been at least an hour or more. But lately, several have been only 15 minutes! That doesn't even cover my gas!
Things are coming to a head and not progressing very well. I may have inadvertently worked myself out of a job. While they keep complimenting my work and seem very impressed by its quality, I think they want someone a little more compliant and someone who won't bill them as much (they better drop the work load or find someone who isn't American--I know, I know...). We'll see tomorrow if I still have a job...
Please let me keep this just long enough to find another one! It's always easier to find a job when you already have one. So please let me keep this one just a little bit longer!
If nothing else, this just added to my teacher work sample and shows that I am a jack of all trades...
Cross you finger, your eyes, your toes, and whatever else. Say a prayer, do a rain dance, chant a little ditty...Just wish me luck tomorrow!

Alanis Morissette Had No Idea What Irony Is

You want to know what irony is?
Irony is having your pre-inspection for your move out done (a day earlier than scheduled at that) and finding out that after a ridiculous amount of tiffs with the DH about the pets and their messes it won't be them that costs you anything! It'll be your almost three year old.
That's right!
They took a black light to our carpets and I was sure that there was going to be stuff showing up all over the living room thanks to our former resident dog and cat. Nope, nada, nothing!
We get upstairs to the boys' room and ew! All of the potty training debacles showed right up!
So Belle and Dave cost us nothing, one almost three year old is costing us $125!!! So said three year old needs a J-O-B ASAP!
All I had to say to DH after relaying this story was, "so can I have my dog back?"

Have you missed me?

Alright, I know it's been almost six months since I last blogged! I've been a bit busy!
Here's what's been going on:
I completed my student teaching (Jan 28-May 2). It was a mixed bag of experiences. I'll be back to that in a moment.
I had school work to do on top of the student teaching stuff. I'm one class away from working on my thesis. Once I take two exams, finish this class, do one project, and the thesis I'll have my Masters! That may seem like a lot but I just need to knock it all out. Would you think I was pretentious if my signature on my email said Maria C. Mahaffey, BA, MAT?! I wouldn't really but it would be kinda nice. Especially since I thought for years that it would be Maria C. Mahaffey, Esq as in Esquire as in attorney. I guess I'll just have to hold out for Maria C. Mahaffey, PhD.
The baby is no longer a baby. He had his first birthday at the beginning of April. I am now the mommy of a full fledged toddler (he's finally taking 5-6 steps on his own--till he remembers how much fun falling and flopping around is) and a preschooler! How did we all get so old?
Dear husband starts his terminal leave tomorrow and started his new CIVILIAN job today. OMFG! We will be civilians on July 7! I need to do a major shopping trip to the commissary, for sure. Oh and get every single medical appointment taken care of ASAP! So what do I do when I'm no longer a "spouse" or "dependent"? That's all I've known for the past five years. That's been a defining concept for me since I got married. They've been totally and completely intertwined since well forever. Dear hubby was a Marine when I met him. My "starter"engagement ring is from the Navy Exchange at Pearl Harbor, my current ring is from the PX at Quantico, DH married in his Blues. A huge part of my self-identity is being a Marine Corps wife. I think I will have a far harder time adjusting to civilian life than DH. DH will have to adjust to the civilian workforce though. I'm anticipating a bumpy ride on that. Fortunately, he's working on base with Marines so the transition should be made easier by that fact.
The preschooler is now a talking (incessantly) preschooler. "Bank you Mommy" "What's that noise Mommy" "My do it Mommy" "Go away Mommy" "Hungry Mommy" "My shows". Funny how his teacher tells me that's he's up to 2 minutes of "making silence" because I'm still working on 20 seconds! Oh and I'm trying to work on the inside voices--ironic since I went to speech as 3 yr old b/c I was always hoarse from not knowing how to use a 12 inch voice! There is still quite a bit of incomprehensible babble but not like 9 months ago. Poor kid is the size of a 4.5 year old though so people have some lofty expectations for him. If only his maturity and speech equalled his physical ability. He's my upcoming Division 1 athlete. He's shooting a full size basketball into a regulation hoop. He's playing with a size 5 soccer ball. And he's figured out forehand and backhand in tennis. I'm still trying to work on the scratch-your-back-touch-your-toes serve. He's getting a youth 23" racket for his birthday, among other things.
I am also trying to find us a house to live in since we have to be off base by July 7. There were two places that we were seriously interested in but they both got swiped up before we could get to them. So disappointing and infuriating. The cost of living here is ridonculous! We don't want to buy out here since the plan is to move back east by the time the preschooler becomes a kindergartner, which is only two short years from now!

Anyway...so back to my student teaching experience. Talk about a bipolar experience--highs and lows. One of my host teachers totally reminded me of Mr Garrison or whichever character it is from South Park who says "mmm kay" all the time. First impressions are not always accurate. This was the host teacher who was slower to turn the class over to me but proved to be the more supportive and helpful. My other host teacher was willing to have me start teaching the third day but his class proved to be far more challenging due to the fact they were freshman and it's a prescribed curriculum/lesson plan. He was not supportive or even pedagogically informative for the most part. It was a "you blundered, I'll point it out, make you feel like crap, but not really give you any constructive support. Have fun!"
My juniors were so much more enjoyable than my freshman even though they were US History (snore!) and the freshman were World History.
I will say that I want absolutely nothing to do with an aligned curriculum and prescribed lesson plan. It is so extraordinarily limiting. There is no time built in for remediation and as a result the students have no time to catch up or be re-taught material if they don't understand it. They just fail. But I did at least get a topic for my thesis out of this! Or at least a proposed topic. The grading system in the Social Studies department supposedly aligns with the National College Board and the Advanced Placement exam system. That's great--too bad most of the students are not in Advanced Placement classes. Oh no--they're practically in remedial classes (given how much hand-holding and spoon feeding that is done) but they still can't pass the exams on a tradition scale. I could go into all the gory details of my opinions on this craziness but I'll save that for anyone who is masochistic enough to want to (or gets bribed into proof) reading my thesis.
On the upside, I have gotten a j-o-b!!! Not entirely in my field though. My second week of student teaching, pink slips went out. There was a proposed $8 million budget cut for all school district in CA. As a result, no public schools were hiring. I looked into Charter Schools in south LA but the process takes so long that we will need to find a new home before I can fully interview so that kind of put the kibosh on that for now. I can't drive from north San Diego to south LA daily. We would have to move half way but there is no point to moving to an even more expensive zip code if I don't have a job in LA. Plus I absolutely love the boys school and don't want to have to find another one. So in the mean time, I interviewed for a tutoring position. While at the interview, I impressed them with my Chinese, my early graduation, my substitute teaching experience and a few other little notches on my belt. I've been hired as the curriculum developer for 3-12 grade Language Arts. Not exactly the subject area that I am most qualified for but thanks to a nearly complete Masters and a memory like an elephant ( I still remember all the major activities from each grade and remember what needs to be accomplished per grade) I am doing well creating the curriculum and lesson plans. The school is a small, private tutoring school opening in La Jolla. It's owned by a Korean couple and the director is also Korean. My math counterpart is a Korean-American. I'm learning Korean! It's been a challenge since the CEO really doesn't speak English (can read and write but not speak) and his wife understands quite a bit but isn't fluent. The director has to do all the translating. It's very trying at times because there is so much work to be done, so little time, and a bit of indecision from the bosses as they're trying to crack open a new market. It's basically an Asian cram school. The students will more than likely be mostly Asian and looking to go from nearly perfect to perfect scores in Math and English. I wanted to go into consulting at some point and I guess I got my chance sooner than I thought. Growing up in a tri-cultural family prepared me well for this foray into International Relations (good thing that's what my BA is in!). I'm just plugging at it daily and still trying to fit in my regular homework and house hunting---oh and housekeeping and childrearing--you know, those secondary tasks.
There you have it! I promise it won't be another 6 months before I post.
I'll be back...

Just to give ya a quick fix....

Okay, here you all go. Since everyone is laying on me to post, here's what I posted on one of my message boards. This should keep you going until I can really blog. Note the 8 hrs involved in the below activity...now do you see why I don't have the mental dexterity to come up with something witty like I used to? Don't read too fast. This has to keep you going...

As many of you know, I am childless and studentless this week. School is out for the week (heaven forbid that they should expect students to actually show up for the three days between two three day weekends) so I don't have to go to work this week. The boys' tuition is paid for the month and they love school, so I've decided to keep them in it and get some work done. I've just spent the last 8 hrs in Starbucks and churned out a ridiculous amount of work!!! I've written five short papers today (about 12 or 13 pages worth) while sitting here, that includes all the research I had to do for them. It would have taken me five nights to get that much done working from 8-11. I'd have had to wait until the boys were in bed and I'd be so tired my concentration would have been shot. I can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to be this productive. I almost feel like I have the intellectual capability that I did in college (pregnancy and motherhood have done some irreversible damage). My a$$ hurts from sitting here all day but I feel great. Oh and I'm starving b/c I worked through lunch---and breakfast for that matter. The venti Chai Latte went a long way. I can't wait to see how much work I get done tomorrow. At this rate, I might come out to play by Thurs. Okay...I just had to make that declaration! AHHH FREEDOM!!! And mental acuity!

It's 6am, do you know where your kids are?

Yes, I do. They're awake and playing---on a Saturday. When do they start to understand the concept of weekends? And that that means they get to sleep in? Oh and when will they be old enough to leave a little breakfast for them in the fridge to get out on their own and watch Saturday morning cartoons? Please someone let me know! I will mark it in red on the calendar!
Both boys have generally adjusted well to getting up early again (I'd just gotten them to sleep till 7, sometimes even 7:30) but I would really love it if they would just sleep a little later on the weekends. 5:45 just shouldn't be seen on the clock on the weekends! It's not civilized if you're no longer a college student. I even tried putting them to bed a little later last night (that's all relative, later is just their regular pre-my-return-to-work bedtimes) but they still woke up bright and early. They're both way more alert than I am; I'm typing this in a virtual haze and in between yawns. DH has agreed to get up with them tomorrow morning...we'll see if that materializes if they wake up this early again. This morning DH is up and out the door to meet a friend for breakfast. Said friend just retired from the Corps and is driving home in a few hours. I wonder if DH'll be in the mood for another early morning breakfast date tomorrow if the companions require diaper changes.
Okay duty calls. Apparently, the jumperoo is not the preferred form of confinement for the baby this morning. I was hoping that he might want to bounce for a bit so I could doze on the sofa. But I think the baby wants to be loose on the floor which means Mommy has to stay completely awake. At least in the jumperoo, I know he can't get into anything.
Sweet dreams to the rest of you sleeping beauties.

One down, eleven to go

Weeks that is. I survived my first week of student teaching and now have only eleven left to go.

After Monday's rough start, Tuesday I was able to really get going. I did some observing with a little interaction with the students. Besides spending a ridiculous amount of time at the hospital pharmacy after finding out that the baby has a double ear infection, Wednesday went well; I started lecturing. It felt so nice to be back in the swing of things. I really do have some attention seeking issues b/c I really do get a thrill out of being the center of attention and knowing that there is a classroom full of people listening to me! Ah and the anecdotes I can tell. DH once observed that I always had a story about every possible situation. Any time someone commented on something, I had a story to go along with that theme. (I don't think at the time it was a compliment.) What can I say? I've packed a lot into my relatively short life. But just like any good antique, there is value under the surface. This is perfect since I'm teaching history. I have little nuggets and gems to try and keep the students' interest---or at least break up the monotony.

I have two host teachers with two periods of US History and two periods of World History. The school is in a suburban setting but with an extremely urban feel. The minorities are the majority. There are a lot of students who are English Lanuage Deficient meaning that they are barely proficient or less than fluent in English. Most of these students do not have a lot of interest or support from their families. As a result, test results, homework completion, and general motivation is very low. At the same time, there is a high enrollment in the AP histories. This school has an open enrollment policy that allows any student to take the course. However, they must take the exam. Surprisingly, there is a remarkably high pass rate--and not just passing but a lot of 4s and 5s (the highest score is a 5). My US history sections are the students who couldn't handle or didn't want to take AP. Which means some of them are barely conscious. My World History are mostly freshman--that's explanation enough! So you can see there are two extremes at work in this school. If I were offered a job here at the end of my time here, I would probably take it. A jobs a job, it pays the bills. And it's always easier to find another job when you already have one. But I can definitely tell you, I don't want to be here permanently. It would be a great stepping stone to something else because I really want to be somewhere that is far more academically rigorous. As I've already been told several times, if I want that, I need to go to a rich white school. I really couldn't care less what race my students are, I just would like to be somewhere a D- is a 60 not a 35! Yeah, you read that right! That's how this department grades otherwise no one would pass. There are students who don't even get that. There are students who only got a 2 or 3%. No joke, no exageration. They're the ones I mentioned above. I get it if this were AP Physics but no, it's mainstream history. I absolutely would never send my boys to this school.

My US history teacher has been giving me larger and larger sections to lecture on each day but hasn't handed over the entire lecture to me yet. My World History teacher has barely let me lecture yet (mostly just vocab--but I did draft and administer a quiz for him) and I have my first solo lecture on Monday. Go figure on that break down... I'm really excited to have an entire lecture to myself so that I can set my own tone and style rather than just jumping in on someone else's bandwagon. Having subbed for two years, I never had another teacher to follow (except in pre-k or kindergarten classes when I co taught--but that doesn't count) so it'll be nice to do things my way again. I've always liked to do things my way...

I also have my first of six observations by my clinical supervisor (a third party observer) a week from this Monday. I'm going to have him observe two periods--one US and one Wld--kill two birds with one stone. It'll be nice to get a set under my belt so that I know exactly what he is looking for.

And somewhere in all this I still have the course work that I have to do for this part of my Masters and I'd like to start my Research Fundamentals for my capstone (or Master's thesis). So I'm just a little busy. And don't forget that somewhere in there, I have to raise two children and help prepare my family for the transition from military to civilian. Oh and most importantly, I have twenty pounds to lose by the beginning of April so that I can accomplish my goal of being back to my premarital weight by the baby's first birthday. That would be a 100lbs in a year, btw.

This will be my schedule as of next week:
5:00 Wake up
5:15 Out the door on a run
5:45-6:45 Get myself and the boys ready and out the door.
7:00 Drop off the boys and head to work.
7:15-2:45 Teach
3:00 Pick up the boys
3:30-6:00 Play at the kids gym
6:00-8:30 Dinner, playtime, bath, bedtime for the kids
8:30-11:00 Homework
Rinse and repeat!
Let's see how long this lasts! Wish me luck!

Just Barely...

Just Barely....That's how I feel about my survival of today!
Here is a recap of the last 24 hrs:
8:30 pm Sunday Freezer goes berserk and starts rattling like a jet plane. I call maintenance.
9:00 pm The door to my oven and the drawer below are no longer attached, a drawer and cabinet door are no longer attached and the fridge is away from the wall. The fridge is now quiet b/c it's unplugged. I'm not worried about the $100 worth of groceries that might go bad but rather the 18 bottles of pumped milk that might not make it through the night.
Periodically through the night I hear coughs and moans coming from both kids.
5:00am In between sobs I hear a seal barking. The toddler has croup--again. I go in to soothe him but not in time to keep the baby asleep. I put the toddler back into bed and feed the baby. I ask DH if there is any way he can take the day off to stay with toddler and take him to the doctor since it's my first day of work. That came with a resounding no, he had to teach three courses today. I crawl back into bed with less than an hour till the alarm is supposed to go off. I set it for 20 minutes later. But...
5:45 am I hear the toddler again so I turn off the alarm and go get him settled again.
6:00 am I shower and get ready. I then go in to get the boys ready. The baby is starting to stir so I get him ready first. I find the toddler out of his bed and asleep on the floor hugging Bubba, the oversized (his lifesize) teddy bear. In his sleep, he throws an arm over his face and ears to block out the light from the hall and the sound of waiting music coming from the phone that is on speaker. I'm trying to get through to the appointment line to get him in to see a doc.
6:45 am I put the baby in the jumperoo and go back up to get the toddler ready. I'm offered a 10:05am or 1:00pm appointment. Oh cause both are great choices on your first day of work. I agree to the 1:00pm so that I can at least get a half day in and hope that no one cares.
7:10 am Out the door into "where's Noah's Ark?" heavy rain with the kids.
7:25 am Drop off toddler for his first day of preschool. Snap a few pics. Run back to the car.
7:40 am Drop off baby for his first day of daycare. Snap a few pics and try to make sure the sitter understands what to feed him when and when he naps. Run back to the car.
8:00 am Get the spot the furthest away in the lot and dash to Social Studies office in the rain. It's SoCal so the campus is open and made up of various unattached buildings. Wonderful in nice weather, shitty in the rain.
8:10 am Make it into the classroom just as the bell rings. Sit through three classes and a planning period. Fast forward to...
Noon: Dash back across campus to car.
12:30 pm Pick up toddler who is in a different pair of pants from what I left him in. Clearly there was an accident. The teachers discover that he likes to pour things. Open top cup of milk poured into lunch---luckily it was mac and cheese.
1:00 pm See doc, get script.
2:30 pm Swing by the house for a sippy and the daycare paperwork that I left behind (grabbed the manila envelope last night).
3:15 pm Pick up baby who is dressed in the toddler's spare clothes. Apparently, the baby was tugging on his sweater and wanted to wear something else...Never mind that the clothes put on him were in a bag with his brother's name on it. Oh and did I mention that he didn't sleep at all. Yeah, she put him down but b/c he wasn't asleep w/in 10 minutes she decided that meant he didn't want to sleep. I guess the emphatic reassurance that he will cry it out and probably take 20-30 minutes to settle didn't sink in this morning or during the interview. I told her that he stands up for 10 minutes rocking back and forth. Then he realizes that no one is coming and screams for 10-20 minutes and then crashes. He did eat all of his breakfast but somehow didn't get much of either sippy of milk in him, and was served only half of his lunch. Really, if he eats a 1/4 cup of cereal w/ a stage 3 fruit for breakfast and doesn't drink his milk, why would you think that he'd only eat one stage 2 for lunch? She tried to feed him his second stage 2 for a snack but he was too tired to be interested. Hmph....!
4:00 pm Arrive at speech to discover that I'd had a mommy moment and was 30 minutes early. Reload kids into car. Toddler had just fallen asleep in the car and was PISSED to have been woken up. Drive 5 minutes to a Target, walk around for 10 minutes, buy Goldfish snack pack and Coke Zero, get back into car and go back to speech. Oh yeah, get a call from DH telling me he is locked out of the house! The maintenance man locked the front door and the sliding glass door. I admit it, we'd be a great target for a cat burglar b/c we don't lock the doors very often. Mainly b/c with our small car dealership (our four cars that we own plus the truck that we're car sitting) DH has so many keys that he usually doesn't take his big ring which includes the house key. So we just leave the doors unlocked. He asks how long we'll be. This is before I realize that I'm way early for speech so I say 1.5 hrs (he hears an hour). He'd forgotten that I'd decided to go to speech after all. This morning I thought I was going to cancel when I thought toddler was sicker than he really is.
4:30 pm Spend the next 45 minutes trying to get the baby to take a nap while the toddler is in with the therapist. No success. I try to call DH numerous times to tell him that we're going to be later than I thought. It either rings busy, goes to voice mail, or I get the call can't be completed message. He finally calls me and is annoyed that my estimation of my return was so off. Call does not end well.
5:45 pm I return home, feed the kids, call hubby to let him know he can get in the house.
6:15 pm Bath time for the boys.
6:30 pm Baby into bed.
6:45-7:30 pm Load the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen floor, pick out the boys clothes for tomorrow, pick out and iron my clothes for tomorrow, restock babies diapers for tomorrow, tidy up.
7:30 pm Put toddler to bed.
7:45 pm Start futzing around on the computer. Hubby chats with friend about coming to see one of the cars sometime tomorrow. "Let me pass the phone to Maria so you can let her know what time you'll be by during the day." Ah--hello-- I work now! "I'm leaving the house at 6:15 am and not coming back till 6:15pm."

I just reread this somewhat boring but very descriptive post and I'm tired just from reading it. No wonder I barely survived.

Oh the students seem nice enough. I'll have two sections of 11th graders in US History. Since the school's AP program is huge, most students go into AP US. Those who are barely breathing and awake end up in the two classes I'll be teaching (wonderful! I think most of us know how I feel about mainstream classes...) I'll also have two sections of 9th grade World History. The US History teacher wants me to observe for about two weeks before starting to teach; whereas, the World History teacher wants me to "take over" next week! Hopefully I do such a spectacular job on Monday and Tuesday that the W.H. teacher gives me a glorious review to the USH teacher and I can get started sooner in his class. They seem to have a really well devised plan and program, so it should be super easy for me to step right in and get going. They use Power Point for most of the lectures and have students do the same routine daily. It is odd to me that the classes meet daily. I'm used to alternating days so that one week a class meets 3x and the next week it meets 2x. Very odd!
I will be getting a very urban experience in a suburban setting. It will definitely be very different from my two years aboard Quantico where all the kids were the children of Marines and there were only a few hundred kids in the combined middle and high school.

Let's see how tomorrow goes--hopefully it's a full day!
Oh and I'll post some pics on the other site maybe tomorrow (if DH is off long enough for me to get on).

Big Brothering and Little Brothering

My boys have entered the stage that I've been looking forward to for nine months!--Well actually 18 months! They play together---not just in the same room or around each other but actually with each other. It's so heart warming to watch them interact with one another.
The toddler generally parallel plays with other children and toys, as in he plays along side but not necessarily with the same toys as another child. The baby doesn't really have friends yet to play with. So the fact that they play with each other is a huge milestone.
The baby crawls over to where the toddler is playing and pushes his way into the heap of toys or pulls himself up onto the furniture or activity table. That is one of the best sites, watching them play on opposite sides of the same activity table.
Today, the baby figured out how to climb all the stairs up to the second floor. The toddler ran up and down the stairs cheering him on. It's scary to realize that the baby is closer to toddlerhood than infancy. And soon they really will be able to play together, out in the yard or on the soccer field---or row together in a double or a pair (fingers double crossed that they follow me down that path).
Now my in-a-perfect-world-no sibling-rivalry children haven't completely mastered getting along. There is some snatching and some annoyance. There are some tears when the big one snatches from the little and several, "No, no touch!" from the big one to the little one. Especially where THOMAS (as in the Tank Engine) is concerned. They both gravitate to the toys with wheels which means they are both getting early lessons on sharing trucks. But generally speaking, they are really starting to get along and be friends.
In the beginning, the toddler wanted absolutely nothing to do with hugging or demonstrating affection to the baby. He would run in the opposite direction if asked to hug the baby. Now not only will he hug the baby when asked, he more frequently does it voluntarily. When asked, "do you love Mommy?" The answer is "Yes." When asked, "Do you love Daddy?" The answer is "Yeah...Daddy is the poot-der (computer)." And when asked, "Do you love Matt?" The answer is "Y-E-S!!!" That's exactly the way it should be!
The toddler is beginning to be able to say "lil brodda" and "big brodda". I'm glad to know that he's beginning to learn his role, at least one of them, in this family. I'm realistic enough to know that there will be fights and rivalry between the two of them, but I'm really trying to instill in them from the beginning that they are best friends. That's why I've kept them in the same room. Eventually, I want them to have their own rooms again. I know they need their space and individuality, but for right now I want to foster that closeness. I want them to know that no matter what other friends they make, wherever they may go, whoever they may date/marry, or whatever they choose to do, they will always have each other as their best friends. That's what big brothering and little brothering is all about.

This has always gotten me through: remember-- when all else fails, two things always remain the same--faith (however you individually define that) and family.