Things I learned while I was supposed to be studying

For the past week, I've been going to Barnes and Noble to study and I learned a few things, or at least realized them, while I was supposed to be studying.
1. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy curling up in a wing back chair to read at a coffee shop. I'd forgotten how nice it is to study without someone crawling on me or having to constantly check the baby monitor. It would have been really nice to just chill there with someone to chat with.
2. Mutton dressed up as lamb just doesn't work. There was a woman there the first night I went. I soon realized that she's a regular there. From what I gathered, she must have worked there at some point because she seemed to know the entire staff and all the other regulars--hmm, "regulars" at night at a coffee shop in a bookstore that's part of a large chain (both the coffee shop and the bookstore) but I'll get to that in a moment. This lady must have been in her fifties and painfully single. The first night she was in black trousers, a black TUBE top, and a black blouse over it. This is what the British call mutton dressed up as lamb--something old trying to look young. She was talking to another much younger (as in younger than me by a lot) girl about dating and how she was wondering why this man hadn't called her. And all I could think was that I am SO glad that I'm not single anymore. I like my rut--it's been hollowed out of the past four years and reflects my very comfy life. I certainly wouldn't want to be in her position of being middle aged and still trying to interpret dating etiquette---or worse getting advice (bad at that) from a chick half her age. SERIOUSLY!
3. The huddled unwashed masses seem to like to congregate at places like this. These cliques are still espousing the same crap they were when my peers belonged to this category. Ironically, these anti-establishment fools are keeping the Man going by hanging out at a Starbucks in a Barnes and Noble. Anyone else see the irony? These kids, and I use that word both accurately and derogatorily, are either in college or are too "smart" to be in college. As in didn't do well enough in high school to get in anywhere but still think they are smarter than everyone else. They of course are so well versed that they are able to solve the world's problems while drinking their venti frappo whosey-whatsits and wishing that the professional career diplomats could have the common sense that their still living at home with mommy and daddy minds have easily produced. This new intelligentsia is just as naive as the ones from my generation and as a result are just as annoying to me. I get that it's part of the whole cognitive development of identifying their own identity but really, couldn't they do it somewhere so much less public. Go back to your basement and pick up your game of dungeons and dragons and leave the ruling of the world to those of us who buy our own big girl and boy panties. Oh and a shower wouldn't go amiss.
3. After the better part of almost 10 years around the Marine Corps, any man wearing a moss green t-shirt out in public looks like he's wearing an undershirt. It just looks odd to me. Incidentally, when my two year old son wears a green shirt out, he's Handy Manny.
4. No Marine, scratch that-- no man other than Fraser or Niles Crane, should ever order a coffee with more than one word to its name. It just isn't right.
5. After almost 30 years of watching my dad drink espressos, I learned that they come in decaf. Doesn't that sort of defeat the point? It's kind of like me ordering a super size double quarter pounder with cheese meal with a diet coke. Why bother?
6. If you tell a joke and it falls flat, don't beat it like a dead horse. I order a venti chai latte (I'm a chick, therefore it can have as many words as I want) and the barista (that's being flattering since it's just Starbucks in B &N) thought he was so funny telling me that it would be $50. I just looked at him. He tried to keep the joke going but I said, "No, it's $3.85". His response was something along the lines of how surprising it is that I'm literate since this is CA. Ironic--I'm there studying to become a teacher in CA and I'm not from here. Just let it go. Even John Leno knows when it falls flat and moves on.
7. This brings me to my final point- a venti anything is just a lot of hot liquid to imbibe at once. Especially when I've added six splendas to it. Since I was consuming these while pursuing an educational activity, can they be tax deductible?

It definitely felt weird to be home tonight with nothing to study. I don't know which part was more odd--to be home or to not be studying. Either way, it's nice to be in my rut, or rather my recliner, again. I crock potted a roast, gave the boys a bath, and caught up on my very full DVR.
Home sweet home.