Tom Jones put it best:

"hold tight wait till the party's over
hold tight we're in for nasty weather
there has got to be a way
burning down the house"

San Diego is still ablaze in many places. There have been several fires aboard base. For those familiar, there was a fire in and around Camp Horno which caused that camp to be relocated up to San Mateo and for the San Onofre housing to be moved. There was some threat to Camp Margarita (hubby's office) but no buildings were damaged, last I heard. The Wilcox fire threatened the DeLuz area but that's been put out. A fire near the back gate was apparently the result of arson, San Luis Rey housing had to be evacuated and the back gate is still closed.
I heard that there was a fire near the commissary, but I'm not sure if that was Pacific Plaza near me or the one up near San Onofre. The back burns that were set to help deter larger fires did close the 5 for a chunk of the early morning but the interstate has been open since about 10:30am.

The air was much clearer today. The sky was visible and mostly blue, no orange/yellow tinge. There was noticeably less smoke in the air. But most things are still closed and the local officials are still asking people to minimize cell phone and roadway usage.

As a family, we're going STIR CRAZY!!! Well at least the boys and I are. Dear hubby has his Everquest to keep him ever entertained. One wife I know has dubbed it Evercrack, so right, so accurate. The baby keeps looking at his jumperoo and exersaucer and then at me as if to say, "are you serious? Those AGAIN?!" The toddler is just straight up bored. He's had some serious melt downs because he just wants to go outside. We are NEVER home this much. I need to get over myself and let him do some more arts and crafts at home. If I did, he would have had some safety scissors and construction paper here. We could have made some crazy crafts, but we don't so he didn't.
Dear hubby will probably be off work for the rest of the week. Yesterday, it was sort of a nice idea. The prospect of family time was great. I just wish we could have family time somewhere other than the living room with the doors and windows closed! We're just all too on top of one another.
I think tomorrow I will meet up with one of my girlfriends and her kids because we just can't handle it anymore. I hope there is somewhere open for lunch! This is throwing off my entire grocery plan. I wasn't expecting to cook two meals a day for three people! My lists! All messed up! Damn nature! So inconvenient! I really do only like it from a distance.
A bunch of my friends escaped; not because their houses were in risk of burning but b/c of the air quality. Our air has been bad but not horrible. So my ever so practical hubby thinks that there is no need to worry. And he is right, to a certain degree. Our house hasn't been in danger. There isn't any where nearby to go and we'd have to drive past fires to get anywhere good up north and the desert is still hot. But he's not the one having to devise infinite methods to entertain two kids! If everyone else gets to have a fire party, I want one too!
Oh well. I'm here holding down the fort with my one other friends (the one I hope to meet for lunch tomorrow)! Her fiance works at the hospital one base so he can't leave, so she didn't leave either. We're hanging tough (military wife style, not New Kids on the Block style).
Okay, enough for tonight. I'll keep you posted. Email me, use my landline, or text me.

Getting on like a house on fire

Okay, maybe it's tacky that I used that tag for this post but just wanted to let everyone know that as of right now, we are fine. We are still at home and looks like we will be here tonight.
The fires are erratic and unpredictable. The fires are about 10-20 miles from here depending on which direction you're facing. There are some voluntary evacuations on the other side of base, but as far as I know, there are no fires on Camp Pendleton at this time.
I have packed up some essentials and irreplaceables. They're by the door; I don't want to pull the car around back b/c I'd have to open the garage door which might wake the baby. We just have to toss them in the trunk and go.
If we have to go anywhere, we will first go to the beach which is about a mile away. If that doesn't work, then we'll head north.
I really don't think that we will need to evacuate at all during the next three days. But, as a parent, I no longer have the luxury of thinking in terms of immortality. I'm just being prepared in case I hear PMO (military police) over the loud speaker at 2am.
If you need to contact us, please first try email. I'm on the computer constantly right now. If that doesn't get an immediate enough reply, either call my landline or text me. Try not to use my cell number if possible; they are requesting that we keep cell use to a minimum.
I will keep you posted as best I can...
I should be studying for my CSET right now, so I'm going to hop off the comp for a little while while I take notes/watching the scrolling news on TV.
Don't worry about us---NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

On this most auspicious occasion

Today marks the third wedding anniversary of a good friend. And by my calculations the second of three that she has had to spend alone. That SUCKS!
But I get it. I get the life, as military wives, that we've chosen. It's still hard and at the end of the day to crawl into bed alone just reminds you how lonely this life can be. So I made a very solid effort to spend as much time with her today as I could without suffocating her. I wanted to offer a good balance of having company but some peace to cope.
The holidays are a rough time to be without your special loved one. You want them there to enjoy in the festivities and the family nature of the get togethers. But when you're the one left behind, people realize that and try to include you. You can almost get swept up in the happy holiday spirit.
But your anniversary is different. To the rest of the world, it's just a Saturday or a Tuesday or whichever day. But to you, it's the most important day. Holidays happen regardless. They always have. But your anniversary marks the day that you chose to be with someone. You chose to make a life with that one particular somebody. And as such, it's kind of nice if they're around to share it.
Another friend's husband left just two weeks before their second anniversary. So my friend was left alone, after only celebrating one anniversary, to celebrate this one alone. That SUCKS!
I wonder how the wives of WWI and WWII veterans handled being left for years at a time. Did the Vikings' wives mind their husbands being gone for years just to go sacking and pillaging?
It's always so much harder being the one left behind. The one who leaves has an adventure to begin while the one left behind is picking up the pieces and figuring out how to fill the void that's created.
I remember when darling hubby left for Hawaii and then on deployment. We were dating and then not dating and then dating again. We spent a total of ten months apart and it was rough, to say the least. But it's a totally different level of rough when it's a spouse rather than just a significant other. I remember how hard it was to have to wait for the phone call, never knowing when it might come. The joy of recognizing the country code on the caller ID, the absolute gut wrenching pain of seeing that missed call, the frustration of dealing with people (who with great intentions, but we know the road to Hell is paved with those) asking when he was coming home or when I was going to talk to him next.
It's just rough.
So to my girlfriends who have dealt with a deployment, to those dealing with one, and to my bestest gal pal who is about to deal with one, I get it as best that I can considering mine is upstairs playing Everquest (where he always is and will be). I commend your honor, your courage, and you commitment (note the nuance). And on your anniversaries, know that you're not so very alone; I'm there, even if not in person. My thoughts and love are always there.

If you can't deliver....

...then don't tell me you will.
What's up with the total inability of UPS and USPS to actually deliver priority and express mail on time?
If I'm going to pay extra to get something to its destination in 3-4 days or especially next day, it better damn well show up on time. Otherwise what the hell's the point?
It's not like I'm sending something to Uzbekistan. I'm just mailing things to cities within the US (Hubby's family may be from Ohio but it's not no electricity Appalachia)! I always ask if the destination is available for expedited shipping. If it's not, then I don't pay extra. If it is, get it there on time!
Or what's worse is when I order something and it's supposed to arrive in three days and more than a week goes by and nothing. That's like telling a kid that tomorrow is Christmas but really it's two months away!
I ordered a book from Barnes and Noble the other day and got the three day shipping b/c I was eligible for the fast and free delivery. Well it's neither fast nor free! I still had to pay $4 something for the shipping and it's not here yet!
Hubby is waiting for books to arrive from his school so that he can begin his courses. He's got a quieter week at work (no classes to give or attend, just regular work) so this would be a great time for him to get started ploughing through some reading. But where are the books? Somewhere between South Cakalaki and Alabama. "The stars fell on" that state and seemed to have knocked out all the UPS drivers.
This has happened to me several times when my mom has sent me things from St. Louis. It's gotten to the point where we've just pretty much agreed that snail mail really is better.
Slow and steady wins the race or at least is more cost efficient--and doesn't get your hopes up.
Moral of the story---don't expect too much of the service industries and you don't always get what you paid for.
***After this is all said and done, I still WANT my book NOW!.

Manic Moments

I know I haven't posted in about a week but that's because I've been having as close to a manic moment as I have. There has been no exuberance or binge shopping. Rather I've been busily doing school work.
I just finished another class---in a week! From October 2-8, I turned in 14 assignments. One was creating a grading rubric but the rest were two to four page essays. I basically churned out about 30 pages of writing in a week. So I should be good when it comes time to do my Capstone. I figure I should have that done in, oh what, a weekend.
I spent about four hours a night typing. Most of the reading was already covered in other courses so it was a matter of reviewing and scanning it from the perspective of this course. I still have a bit more reading to do but the syllabus gave twelve weeks to do the work I did in seven nights!
Hopefully, all of it passes the first go round and I don't have to make any revisions. I can spend the rest of the month studying for a school exam (on instructional planning, design, and presentation) and the CSET for Social Studies (the content area exam for my CA teaching license). I just want to get all of that done. Do my pedagogical class in November. Take December off. And be back in the classroom at the beginning of January.
SO SOON!!! I won't be a full time SAHM. I'll actually be in charge of my own classes. I'm over 80% done with my Masters! Whoooweee!

The post that I just did below this one totally shows my mania right now. It's a bit long winded, to say the least. Bear with it. There is a point somewhere in the rant.
I'm now ready to refocus my mania on my weight loss. I can't wait to have time to workout 60 mins each night. The fall season of TV is back so I have something to entertain/distract me while on the elliptical.
Okay, I need to get away from this midnight bedtime. Nite nite!

Onward Christian Soldiers...

Marching off to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before...
This was the verse of a hymn that my mom used to sing to me (along with Rule Britannia and What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor---ecletic mix, huh).
And I couldn't help but think of it on Saturday morning (not just b/c it's part of my repitoire w/ the boys) while I was at a military support brunch hosted by a local church.
It's fairly common around here for churches to host these brunches or dinners, usually for wives. They have great food, an inspirational speaker, some door prizes, and they serve as a chance to mingle with other women who live a similar lifestyle.
This particular one was just interesting. It was not quite what I had anticipated.
Let me preface my story by giving a little perspective. I am part of a small and select order---cradle Episcopalians (or Anglicans, as I prefer). There are not that many people who are raised as Episcopalians. Most come to the denomination when they leave Catholicism or Lutherism or other sects. We're a very traditional denomination and are kissing cousins to Catholics. High churches use incense and do solomn sung masses. I also tell friends that the reason that I like it so much is b/c I've always loved tradition, pomp and circumstance and so if I going to do church I want to DO church.
As a result, I really am very uncomfortable with liberal churches. And by that I mean any type of hand holding or raised arms. Exchanging the peace is almost too much interaction for me. Three handshakes and I'm ready to sit down. I think adding a guitar or any type of percussion is just out of control! I just can't handle it. So needless to say, some of the more modern churches leave me wanting to run---far---fast.
I also don't get the whole nondenominal thing. And I've spoken to a friend who was a Seminarian about this along with friends who are nondenominational. If the definition of a denomination is a group of people who gather together in agreement to practice certain aspects of a faith with a certain liturgy of service then how can you not really be a denomination? Doesn't that mean that nondenomination is in fact a denomination? I think so. So either they're a denomination or they're just confused...But that's just me. If you are nondenominational, cool. I just don't get it.
So anyway. I went to this thing on Saturday and I'd called for directions and to reserve my spot. I was told that it was located in an industrial park. I just thought that meant that the building was surrounded by an industrial park. Uh no. It's actually the industrial park. It must be a huge church because they have rooms in several buildings and enough room to break up their Sunday school into several age groups that have huge rooms. But nonetheless, it just was so odd to me. I mean, a church isn't a church if it doesn't have a steeple and a bell.
The food was very nice and they had pancakes being made to order. We sat down and the speakers were three couples who have managed marriage and deployments. There was a moderator who asked questions and the panel just gave their perspectives.
All was going pretty well and then the evangelism began. I am SO NOT comfortable with evangelism. I completely understand that it is an integral part of Christianity and of any church. But I just have a hard time swallowing religion worn on one's sleeve. Last I checked, the Crusades ended a few thousand years ago. Don't convert me! I believe faith to be an intensely private affair. I'll talk about mine if asked but I really don't offer much about it. Each unto their own. I think it comes from being raised in a tri-cultural/bi-religious family.
When they began talking about giving oneself up to Christ and the scriptures stating that a woman should be a submissive wife to a Godly husband. I got kind of uncomfortable.
And it gave me pause to think about why I was uncomfortable. As I said, I'm not comfortable with evangelism. But I think the reason why I'm not is not because I don't agree with that lifestyle but it's a latent sense of guilt that I'm not living that life. And I haven't made enough of an effort to do it. I go to church most Sundays of the month. I take the boys with me. I used to say my nightly prayers. I've partaken in most of the sacraments, yada yada. But as for my day to day life, I know that I'm falling short. I know I am.
And so when I hear about those people who have and do make the effort, I seem to respond with some contempt or disdain as a way to cover up my shortcomings. Cut them down to make myself feel better. How old am I?
Ironically, the sermon at my church the next day was about giving one's self over to Christ. But the sermon was delivered at a much more analytical, cerebral, and albeit humorous level. And it just resonated more. My priest, well one of them, is about as much of a hippy as you can get within the Episcopal church. He has a son named River and a daughter named Eden. And I always have to stifle a giggle when I remember that he surfs--I always can't stop but picture him (and he's a big guy--over 6 feet and a sturdy midwesterner) on his board with a dog collar on... His sermon began with an analogy. He said that if the disciples had a theme song, it would probably be the Stone's "Can't Get No Satisfaction". As in no matter what they did they just couldn't quite get it. That until one turns their life over to Christ, there is no satisfaction. He then went on to speak about how Jesus is not politically correct but religiously correct. And how everyone is a slave--either to themselves and their vices or to God. Long story short, same message as Saturday but totally different delivery. I left feeling uplifted and wonderful. Just b/c of the presentation. Go figure.
Moving on...
What's really interesting is that, in the past 10 years or so, most of my closest friends have all come from a very strong religious background. It seems like most of them are just nicer people for it. Perhaps it's an ability to forgive and to love their neighbors as themselves. Perhaps they have a better understanding of Jesus' work. I've thought now for a while that had I a stronger religious education, maybe I would be--well--nicer. And certainly more patient. Whatever the reason, I'm drawn.
None of my friends, however, wear their religion on their sleeves. It's not something that I find out about within the first five minutes of meeting them. My friend who was the Seminarian doesn't feel the need to drop that into every conversation. The only reason that I know is because we've discussed our educational backgrounds and she was in graduate school when she met her husband. When we traded the stories of how we met our husbands, that came out. Otherwise, I'd probably be none the wiser.
What is it about some people that makes them feel the need to blurt out their religion immediately? As though it's game day and you get a bye straight to heaven just because you're batting for team Christian. I find it interesting when I hear people chat and they say something along the lines of "oh I met so and so the other day. She's a Christian too so we blah blah blah..." As though being tagged as a Christian instantly makes you destined to be soul mates.
Incidentally, I by no means think that this is a unique feature of Christianity. I grew up in a predominantly Jewish area and my friends joked that they had Jewdar---kinda like gaydar but for other Jews.
But there is just something in the tone of these Christian declarations that gets to me. Christian is such a broad grouping. It means you believe in Christ. But I know as an Anglican, I have little in common with a Pentecostal or a Jehovah's Witness or even a Methodist. That's why there are so many denominations. It's the uniqueness of each sect that makes religious history and theology so interesting to me. And I just love it when people don't realize that Catholicism falls into Christianity. Last I checked, it's kinda like the uber Christian. If anyone loves themselves some Christ, it's them.
***And I pause now to reflect on the fact that this entire thesis is probably totally sacrilegious and I'll probably going to be doing penance for a while.***
Onward I chug regardless.
At the end of the brunch, they announced that this will be a monthly ministry. The first Sunday of the month will be a military support brunch. Part of me if very intrigued--the part that is a Marine Corps wife. The other part of me---the stand offish Anglican-- is a little nervous about going. Am I hypocrite for wanting to go but not wanting to deal with evangelism since I know that will be the crux? Am I setting myself up for failure by going to something that will by its and my nature lead me to some rather unChristian thoughts? When will I stop praying every Sunday to have the wisdom and strength to live a Christian life and actually start doing it? When will I stop trying to forge my own path and instead walk in the footprints already laid out for me?

I'm a local now

I know I've been in SoCal for a while now because it hit 69 degrees and I've busted out my children's winter clothes--albeit long sleeves and pants. It's even cold enough (50s) at night that we turned on the heat today!
Only in SoCal do you wear a sweater, jeans, and sandals or flip flops...I've even seen this with a winter coat before. Because everything besides your toes has been magically transported to the Arctic.
Go figure! We should all be so lucky.

BTW

By the way, for those of you who might have given up on my other site since it's been a month since I updated the family blog, there are a ton of new pictures up. I finally sat down for a good two hours and patiently maneuvered around blogger to get it squared away.

Conflicted Mind

Last night, several of my mommy friends and I got together to do a craft. That massive whooshing sound you hear is the wind being knocked out of you as you realize that I did in fact engage in arts and crafts.
I know. So totally not like me since it involves a free and unrepressed spirit!
In all actuality, I have a very strong creative side and I would love to be far more artsy fartsy but the perfectionist side is WAY stronger. I'm dead serious when I tell people that I'm a temper tantrum waiting to happen when it comes to arts and crafts.
If I can't get it right on the first (or really up to three) tries then I want absolutely nothing to do with it. And if the final product is anything less than stellar, I feel it's been a total waste.
I'm also like that with shooting pool and bowling, incidentally. Two things that dh excels at...go figure.
I'm not naturally inclined towards drawing but I used to love working with paints and clay when I was younger. I was a very good creative writer and I loved expressing myself that way (hence the creation of this blog, as a means to keep the creative juices trickling if not flowing).
Secretly, I would love to scrapbook because I do think the final product is terrific and I whole heartily endorse creating family memories. But, besides the fact that it elicits a near cult mentality and can almost bankrupt you, it involves a great deal of precision and flair. Which you would think would suit me since I am a perfectionist. However, I reiterate the flaw in me--if I can't get it right right away, I want nothing to do with it.
I've always been blessed in academics and fairly blessed in athletics that I've never really needed to try very hard. As a result, I tend to just avoid those things that do not come easily to me as they necessitate effort that I'm not used to offering forth.
I can remember as a teenager trying out various hairstyles and trying to get them to look just right. Especially the au naturale that really took two hours to create. Since I just could not do it to my standards of flawlessness, I just gave up. That's why to this day I am a wash and go kind of girl. I try to pass it off as my pragmatic side but really it's the screaming two year old in me.
Back to last night, my friend who hostessed the party really has an incredibly artistic nature. I saw her son's room for the first time and was blown away by the mural she'd created through stencils and free-hand drawing. It's truly the room you dream of giving your child---planets, stars, and a rocket painted on the walls. We were making name plaques for our children's doors. As though one wouldn't be enough to push me around the bend, I had two to make. My girl friend suggested (after I'd used a stencil somewhat successfully and chicken scratched their names on their stars) that I add some free-hand lines to the stenciled fish and to add sea grass. The thought of doing anything based upon my own creativity (just picking the right stencil and writing two names was enough for me) truly struck fear in my soul.
What if I messed up? What if they looked weird? What if....I ruined the whole damn thing? Then everyone would know and my boys wouldn't have name plaques . Or worse, I'd have to show my dh, who wouldn't say they looked bad, he just wouldn't say they looked good---which is even worse because it means that he couldn't come up with anything nice to say so he just didn't say anything.
Ahh the neurotic ramblings of a perfectionist.
Anyway, this is why I don't engage in arts and crafts!
But in the end, I joked that worst case scenario, I would just tell the boys when they're older that they made them! "What, don't you remember?"
So ended the tug of war between my left brain and right brain. "Come on, you know you want to create art. Everyone else is doing it." "Don't succumb to the pressure. It's not worth it."
It ended up a tie--I did my project but I'm totally not satisfied with the outcome; however, as a glutton for punishment, I did hang them on the boys' respective doors. Maybe to show off or maybe to remind myself that art is not my forte.
Or maybe it's just practical to know whose room is whose (in case I forget or something because we have so many random people wandering through). Or to give the boys a sense of independent identity...
John Nash watch out, my mind is more beautiful now.